Live for the Moment
Oh how I’ve missed you WordPress fam! It has been weeks since I have posted, but I am back. And your stuck with me! My reasoning for being away for so long..? Life happened. Things got tough in my corner that left me speechless. There were multiple times that I thought about blogging, but I just didn’t have it in me. If I were to write, I didn’t know what I would say. I lost my voice.
I am not yet ready to talk about what happened over the past few weeks. But I will share this: When “bad” things happen, it is not for us to run away and hide. It is for us to draw closer, to God. For years, I would run away from God, and hide in my sin, whenever disappointing or devastating things would shake my world to its core. In any instances where there’d be a death in the family, failing a class, broken heart, lost opportunity, anything of that nature, I would run away from God. I could not wrap my mind around the idea that God allows certain things to happen because he want’s to draw us closer to him. My reason for running away from God in the first place, was because I knew that nothing can happen, unless God allows it to. Yes, the devil has power, but he has limits. Because of my hurt and confusion, of what God had allowed to take place in my life, I wanted to separate myself as far as possible from the one who allowed it to happen. I mean, think about it. Would you really want to be best friends with the person who crashes into your brand new BMW 2014? Would you really want to spend time, fast, praise, worship and bow down to someone who has allowed you to suffer immensely, but knowingly has the power to stop it? Something to think about.
That is exactly how I feel, whenever the toughest of tough challenges arise. But this time around.. I didn’t run away. Oh, I wanted to alright! But I didn’t. God showed me my habit, and allowed me to recognize it from the very beginning. He gave me the strength to pull through and to come closer to him, even though it was my natural instinct to pull away. Deep down, I still had the desire to pray, and worship him. I found it in my heart, to lift my hands and acknowledge that he is still worthy of the praise, despite what I am going through. Even though he allowed those bad things to happen to me, I knew that I appreciate him for all the good that he has done, when I’ve done nothing to deserve any of it.
And what God brought to my mind was this.. God was crucified by human beings. He is God, not a human being. He had the power to step down from off that cross, but he didn’t. Not only did he suffer innocently, on behalf of our sins, but he suffered out of love for us. And, in his word, it says that if we suffer with him, that we will also reign with him (2 Timothy 2:12 and Romans 8:17). So if we truly love God the way that we should, with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength.. Then we should be willing to go through for Christs sake.
Another thing to remember, is that we will reap what we sow. So, if we sow good seeds, then we will reap good. If not, expect to receive the opposite. When bad things happen, it is not a punishment from God, because he is upset with us. It is simply a call to repentance: apologizing and turning from our sin. It is not punishment, it is what we call discipline/chastising. In other words, he is correcting us.
What I went through, I know I deserved it. Personally, I believe what I’ve gone through and am still going through, is because of the combination of things above. However, this does not mean that it’s like that for you and all things you may go through on this earth.
No matter we go through, we should not grumble and complain. Instead, we should draw closer to God. My habit was when something wouldn’t go my way, especially if I’d prayed about it, I would try to distract my mind. My only goal, would then be, to take my mind off of what I was going through. I do this by sinning. Doing things I knew I had no business doing. I did those things, because I found comfort in them. Because again, why would I want to find comfort in the one who is allowing these bad things to happen to me?
This time was different. I must say, I was determined for it to be different this time around. I believe I passed the test. Not perfectly though. The first night, I didn’t have the strength to pray on my own. I had to knock on my mother’s room door, confess that if she didn’t pray with me, I probably would’ve ended up not praying at all. So, there we were.. Nealing side by side, praying to God. Well, for the first 10 minuets, I just sat there, listening. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I could not find the words to speak. I was shocked at what had occurred and didn’t understand why God allowed it to happen, when he clearly could have stopped it. God, he is a healer, protector, a miracle worker… But, none of those things he did.
I had to come to the place where I could still acknowledge God for being each of those things, despite what I was going through. Besides, one of the worst things you can do is hold a grudge against God. Over the next couple of days, I began to reflect on what God has done for me. Knowing that he has blessed me, time and time again, undeserving. There is nothing that I have ever said or done to deserve his grace, favor and love. I count it a blessing, that I am alive to share this testimony. It was long. But this post makes up for almost 2 weeks of meaningless blog posts about my crush (more to come on that later.. 😉
As I conclude for today, I admonish you to spend time with God, everyday. Don’t wait until you are in trouble to pray. Take at least 5 mins a day to thank God for all the things he had done for you, your family, friends… Life happens when we least expect it. And the only person we are going to need, is God. Because he is in control of all things. Don’t take it by coincidence that you are reading this blog post right now. Especially, when it’s this long. Instead, take it as a cautionary-warning. Live for the moment. Live life to the fullest. Because life.. It happens when we least expect.
Thanks for reading. Happy Friday && God Bless!!