Rock Bottom


When you’ve hit rock bottom, the only direction to go, is up.  So, don’t give up. Just let go and let God take control. 

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Today, my heart is heavy.

In a desperate attempt to vent; these are the words I jotted down on my notepad.

‘ I don’t care anymore

Whatever happens, happens

Maybe, one day

It will be my turn to be happy

But for now

I give up.

There is nothing more that I can do

Nothing more that I can say

I have been honest about my feelings

I have prayed and tried to give up everything 

Thinking positive is getting harder and harder to do

My insides are ripping to pieces

And there is nothing I can do to stop it

I’ve tried to deny it

I’ve tried to hide it

But I can’t help how I feel

There’s so many people I want to blame

But I can’t anymore

I feel as if everyone around me is smiling and laughing 

All day I’ve smiled

But inside, I’m dying

I’m sick of crying

Sick of pretending

Sick of being sick and tiered

I don’t know how to embrace what I’m going through anymore

And I think what hurts the most

Is that nobody notices what I am going through

Nobody stops to ask if I’m okay

They act as if everything is fine

And maybe for them it is

But for me it’s not.

I am slowly losing my mind

Slowly losing control

Simply because I don’t know what the future holds

So good luck to me

Going forward in this week

It’s going to take a lot to survive this one

My life is no fairy-tale

But to God I pray

That I get a happy ending

God I surrender my will completely to you

Whatever you have for me

Please, let it be.’

Is there an area in your life, where you feel like God has abandoned you?  Do you feel like you are fighting a losing battle? Have you prayed, and it seems as if it’s this one particular prayer that God is ‘seeming to ignore’ ? 

I am being so honest in this blog post, that it scares me a little bit. I am baring my soul to you right now.. Simply because I know I cannot be the only person out here, feeling this way. Just raw and real.

I have been on this particular journey for a while now. And now, I have reached a fork in the road. Which way will I turn? My options are clear. I can either give up, or keep forging ahead, despite what the future looks like. See, to me, the future outcome of this circumstance I’m in looks dark and dreary. Hopelessness. 

I’ve been praying for a long time. And every time things seem to get better, they ALWAYS get worse. God has answered so many of my prayers, but this one… It’s like he is purposefully choosing to ignore. Because, when I pray, I feel his presence. I know without a doubt that he is near and attentive to my cry. However, I am seemingly, getting nowhere. I expected a long wait.. But not this long. 

I feel like giving up. And honestly, a part of me already has given up. But, this is the thought that comes to me…

Don’t give up. Just let go and let God. 

And one other thing…

Stop praying for yourself. And, pray for someone else.

Whoaa! Like seriously, that’s it right there! That right there is the key to getting this prayer answered. Whether or not it works out that way I desire it to, I will hear from God. 

So many times we are praying, praising God and expecting our blessing as we should. BUT, we forget that we cannot remain selfish in our prayers. We must make it our intention, every time we come before God, to pray for someone else other than ourselves. 

I don’t know about you, but that is what I, personally, need to work on. So today, I come to encourage you and to encourage myself… Don’t give up. No matter what your situation looks like. Trust me, I know how it feels. It’s tough. Especially when everyone around you may be rejoicing in the Lord, and you’re struggling to wear a smile on your face, just to hide the pain you are feeling on the inside. 

God is not ignoring you. He is here with you, even at this very moment. He understands what you are going through and wants you to know that he will help you. He does not intend for us to give up… But to let go. Make sure that you are not holding on to sin, lustful  pleasures of the flesh, selfish desires… Give up totally to him. And he will come through for you. Sometimes, we may think we’ve surrendered everything to him, including our will, but if your still looking for things to happen a certain way at a certain time.. Then you have not fully let go. 

Don’t give up. Just let it go. Give it to God. 

God may push you to the limit. But remember, in his word, he says that he will not put more on us than we can bare. So whatever it is you are going through, God considers you to be very strong, because he gave the toughest challenge to you. You WILL make it through. 

Don’t give up. Just let it go. Give it to God. 

I can’t say it enough. 

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So, this week, I am going to return back to God, in worship/praise/adoration/thanksgiving. And, I am going to come before him in repentance, THEN, I will spend my time praying for other people. I am going to make an effort, to forget about myself, and remember those around me. Even those who I consider my enemies. I’ve come to far to turn around. How about you?

Thanks  for reading.

God bless.

Be encouraged! 

And when you’ve hit rock bottom…

Don’t give up. Just let go and let God. 

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